Food Addict

Hi, im caryn and im a food addict! ive gained 25 pounds of the 55 ive lost and im not happy about it! i feel like im back where i started 3 years ago, in pain and tired all the time. feel kinda hopeless about the prospectg of losing weight. id rather die than be 30 and fat!!! i met with a surgeon for the lapband surgery and he is willing to take me on. first though i have to get all sorts of tests done and the send it to BCBS for approval. meanwhile i have to see a therapist, a nutritionist, cardiologist and get my ass back in the gym. i know that this surgery isn't a means to an end, but a tool to help me become and stay healthy. i mean. STAY, for the rest of my life....through happy time and depression times. technically im suppose to be 115 pounds...but if you know me you know that i would probably look very sickly at that weight, ive got hips, ass and shoulders...under all the weight...somewhere is my hourglass shape! so i think for be to be somewhere between 140 and 160 is good, like a size 10. that may still seem overweight to some, but from where im at now its a huge change. its gonna be a battle to get back into the gym and get back in gear and i know after the surgery its going to both a mental and physical fight and a fight everyday for the rest of my life!!!!! but i am not going to end up being one of those folks that eat themselves to death. i dont want to be one of those people on tv that cant walk or cant wash themselves. some of you may think, caryn, come on now...get real...but you know i can look at food and gain weight...food is my addiction...its fills the empy space. i could easily be like one of those people you see on TLC or Discovery!!!!