Lately, my life is full of first times, first experiences and first feelings. This most recent accomplishment may not seem big to some but its freaking huge to me!! I graduated high school weighing approximately 220 pounds. (I can only remember this because I was getting ready to have surgery on my jaw and the nurse was doing preop stuff and she said 'You can't lie about your weight because you could wake up during the surgery') It feel like from that moment on I could look at food and gain weight!!
I was 240ish when I started college at UNCG, gained and lost a few pounds here and there. I graduated college weighing 260 and ballooned to 280 pounds when I left a really emotionally draining and mentally devastating relationship. When I moved back to NC in 2003 it finally hit me that I would rather die that instant than have to live life as a FAT woman!!! I promised myself that I would never weigh that much again!!! Here we are today 82 pounds lighter and for the firs time in about 15 years I weigh under 200 pounds!!!! I saw those numbers on the scale and I wanted to cry, its been such a long time coming and it hasnt always been easy! I am proud to say that I weigh 198 pounds!!!I'm slowly metling away and shaping myself into the person I want to be and the woman that God has always wanted me to be!
As I sit here and type I'm craving some sugar, some candy something sweet!!!
I want people to know that just because I have had WLS (weight loss surgery) that it doesnt stop there. Ive said it before, its not an end all be all!!! Especially with the Band, I can still eat a lot of things I'm not suppose to eat or shouldn't be eating! With having the band its still a lot about self control and following the 'Rules'. Its a day to day thing, some days are so much easier than others!!! WLS is NOT A QUICK FIX!!!! YOU MUST BE DEDICATED AND FOCUSED OR ELSE IT WILL NOT WORK!!! YOU MUST BE WILLING TO MAKE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE!!!! AGAIN.....IT IS NOT A QUICK FIX!! The band is a for life thing....I married this lifestyle the day I went under and I am completly fine with that! If your not willing to sacrifice then IT WILL NOT WORK FOR YOU!! It may seem harsh but I dont want anyone to feel as if its a quick fix. I work at it daily, sometimes hourly!! I still have to put in my time to get results I want!!! I am dedicated and focused and it honestly takes up a lot of my mind!! One important fact for me is that the Lap Band fit into my lifestyle and all the changes that I had made before I EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT SURGERY!!!It is not EASY!!! BUT i wouldnt trade it for anything in the world....
1 comment:
Caryn! I am so excited for you! What an awesome goal that you have set for yourself! I am so proud to call you my cousin! It is definitely not an easy adjustment to change your eating habits, it is a huge lifestyle change in so many ways! I notice that when I tend to be eating healthier, I have so much more energy! :) I am so excited for you! Keep up with the amazing goals that you have! I love you tons and I am extremely sad you won't be at reunion!!
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