So its been at least 6 months since I last posted here about my journey. So much has happened its hard to know where to begin. Today I weigh 159.8 pounds.....that is a 120 loss. I wear a size 10...first time ever! I can also wear my little black dress!!! I still have no regrets or second thoughts about the surgery...I would do it all over again. It has given me life back....its given me myself...if that makes sense!
I am so tiny that I have a hard time recognizing myself. Thus being said, my journey is now changing. I don't have to focus my energy on losing pounds and inches but now its about finding peace and balance in my life. For such a long time my mind has been like a tornado, whirling thoughts, emotions and feelings. My journey now is to find peace, love and acceptance for myself. I need to learn who this person is that is looking back at me in the mirror. I need to learn to forgive myself for the things I've done and the people I have hurt. My journey is to heal my heart, soul and mind. I dont expect this process to be easy by any means and have enlisted help for this process.
There are so many underlying issues as to why I used/use food for comfort. I have never truely dealt with anything, I use work and food to make it all just go away. I am a self proclaimed workaholic, keeping two jobs most of my adult life, working extra hours pushing feelings farther and farther down.
I was going to share some of these issues because I know on your end it sound so vague...and I really hate vague. Though looking at what I have written I am not yet brave enough to share with the entire world! So continue to keep me in your prayers....God is putting me together one step at a time and making me into the person and woman I am!
No comments:
Post a Comment