Spring of Renewal

Seems kind of fitting that spring is in a matter of days, the symbolism of renewal and life again matching the renewal and strength I am finding everyday. It feels like it was lifetime ago now even though its just been a few months. As the new year started I felt as if my life had the rug pulled out from under me and life was thrown into a tornado and now here is spring time with the flowers and trees in bloom.

Just a few weeks ago I was writing about the pain I had been feeling, the angst and regrets. However, within the last two weeks I have felt an overwhelming amount of peace in my heart and soul. I really feel that I have made a lot of progress in a short amount of time.

The loss of two things at once can be quite over whelming if you let it get to you. At first I prayed for days that God would take away the pain of losing my little heartbeat and in a short amount of time the pain ease and my heart started to feel at peace. The pain of that loss will always be in my heart but I know that God knows what is best for me.

The pain of the second loss is no where no what it first was. The anger is starting to subside and the love for myself is starting to reemerge. Remembering that there was not much I could do to change it, taking the good, the bad and the lessons learned and moving on. The bridge is burned and flooded. The forgiveness is coming, not that he has asked, but that I am willing and able to despite everything.

Thank God for spring time!